NO “TELEPHONES”. TALK TO EACH OTHER. FACE TO FACE ONLY. WRITE A LETTER. SEND A TELEGRAM TO YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 1860. LIVE.
NO ‘WRITING’… TALK TO EACH OTHER. THROW A ROCK AT YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 10,000 BCE. LIVE.
URGGA. ROU GRAAURH. RUH.
<SMACKS HANDS ON WALL WITH PAINT.>
NO ‘HIGHER BRAIN FUNCTIONS’ …USE YOUR REPTILIAN BRAIN
EAT YOUR MOM’S CORPSE SHE DIED TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SUSTENANCE
PRETEND YOU HAVE JUST AROSE FROM THE SEA
NO “MULTICELLULAR TRAITS”….. USE YOUR SYMBIOTIC MITOCHONDRIA
REPRODUCE ASEXUALLY, YOU’RE YOUR OWN PARENT
PRETEND IT’S 2BYA
NO “LIFE.” USE FUNDAMENTAL PHYSICAL FORCES TO FORM SPHERICAL OBJECTS REVOLVING AROUND ONE ANOTHER IN SPACE.
FUSE HYDROGEN INTO HELIUM USING GRAVITATIONAL PRESSURE TO PRODUCE HEAT AND LIGHT.
PRETEND IT’S 4.5BYA.
STABILIZE INTO EQUILIBRIA
NO “MATTER”. EXIST IN THE VOID WITHOUT PURPOSE OR MEANING.
THERE IS NO “YOU”, ONLY THE VAST CONCEPT OF NOTHING.
TIME DOES NOT EXIST.
I feel like something really important just happened
if you’re gonna shit on people for using fictional characters to motivate themselves well first of all what the fuck is your problem
On the other hand, my nose flaring abilities are pretty good
For some reason I thought about this a lot as a kid
theyve started selling lucky charms at tescos and ive never had any american cereal before and it has little tiny marshmallows in it and im haivng heart palpitations this is so sugary my body isnt used to this ive been living off cornflaeks for the last 16 years why are there marshmallows in my cereal who came up with this idea i feel like a bag of sugar just jizzed in my veins there are sweets in my fucking cereal is that even legal im so confused
They can leap 36 feet
As in leap forward 36 feet
They don’t jump 36 feet into the fucking sky do you know how terrifying that would be the human race wouldn’t have survived because we’d have all had heart attacks while still in Africa
still one of my favorite posts on tumblr
are u in love with me? no?? *slides u a chocolate pudding* how about now?
Now you know the truth of what’s going through my mind at parties.
oh my gosh the last panel actually made me tear up
I can’t tell you how accurate this is
today i was in hot topic with my mom and there was a bra with Simba on it so I asked her “want a lion king bra?” she said “why would i?” so I put it in front of my chest and said “hakuna ma tatas” she had to leave the store she was laughing so hard.
disney princesses + greek mythology
this is so accurate it hurts
- BOOBS DO NOT HAVE SOUND EFFECTS
- BOOBS DO NOT BLOW IN THE WIND
- BOOBS DO NOT STAND STRAIGHT UP
- BOOBS CAN NOT BE TWICE THE SIZE OF YOUR HEAD WHEN YOU’RE TEN YEARS OLD
- NIPPLES SHOULD NOT BE LONGER/BIGGER THAN THE ACTUAL BREAST
- THEY ARE NOT PERFECTLY SPHERICAL
- THEY DO NOT BOUNCE BACK WHEN SOMETHING HITS THEM
- AND THEY ARE NOT GRAVITY DEFYING
we have a anime tity hater